So here we are again, but this time a little different. Here's how it goes - I'm happier now with myself and I feel like I need a new blog to reflect this. This blog was originally going to be just an art blog, but I think it will be an everything blog, a diary. Who know's - it will be what it will be.
I've come here for some grounding today. I think I had my revelation and needed to just draw and draw a mish mash of anything, with no structure. When I came to this point of no return a few months ago now, I spent the first chunk very emotional, the second chunk reading insane amounts whilst drawing a lot and then the last few weeks calming down but still drawing and reading a lot in every spare moment.
I'm dotting these around to show how much of a jumble my brain is (not that it's a bad thing obviously)
The rest of my jumble so far can be seen here on Flickr
Last week, my mind came to a point of rest and it still needs rest. However I feel this worry, like I have to keep the pace, but I've realised today how important down time is. Julia Cameron talks about "filling the well" which means you take time to replenish, I think this is very important, for everyone. Cameron (The Artists Way) talks about going on 'artist walks' which basically means you try and take a few hours a week at least to do something for you, go see something, go to a museum, go for a walk, buy a few things that feel precious to you. Basically allowing yourself some time for your brain to relax and fill up that well again. After my jumbled month, my crappy inner critic reared its head again. I had this vague idea that I would (after a bit of time) start to pursue freelance illustrating. My critic has been on my back about it, pulling me away from the starting line and pulling me away from why I'm drawing again in the first place. Its only my own head and my own pressures doing this and it's come from years of this, years of feeling like I have to strive and do and justify. I recognise it and I'm telling that critic to back off. It means perhaps closing down with pressure for a little while, going for walks, taking pictures, reading. Having time to remember why I've come to this point and to hold on to that.
Some pictures I've taken on walks:
Hair flowing out of a shop in Soho
A demolished building on my way home
Cats that rest near my brothers house
Some views of Richmond on a sunny day
Ducks in Regents Park
Until next time.
I'm so glad that you have a blog and will be able to share your drawings. Both are really lovely and I can't wait to see more. I think everyone of us constantly battles our internal critic. I can subdue mine when I "just doing this casual little sketch - quickly" but was paralyzed when I agreed to my first and only commission. I call this block "my fear of failure" and can only get by it when I analyze the stakes. I finally finished.
ReplyDeleteYour blog looks great! I enjoyed reading your post and seeing your art here. I also like that idea of "filling the well". Something good to remember.
ReplyDeleteI think of my blog as a blank canvas, a sort of a repository for anything I care to fill it with. I love your first post - already there is a wonderful sketch, a creative color drawing (love the creativity of the collage of flowers around the face), great photography (you found the prettiest part of Richmond, I think - I've been there) and thoughtful writing. All in all a wonderful combination. I love the hair-flowing shot, and the composition of the cats picture. But beware, a blog is a hungry beast! ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments -it's really nice to read them. I've been blogging for years but it was all tangled up in the me that wasnt really being me. The blocked me. It was more a vent than a blog. This feels like the right thing to do now, to have a diary of whats happening and for it to be exactly like you said Dan - a sort of repository and blank canvas to be filled. Shirley- I know what you mean and I think its easy to cage up in your own fears once you have a commission. The key to solving this I think is to let go. To not think and just do it and give it that same wonder you give your 'casual' sketches - I'm very glad to hear you have finished it!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is looking good, keep going!
ReplyDeleteI think you need to give yourself permission to be yourself and the advice from 'The Artist's Way' sounds just right, something we all should try to make time for even in this busy world.
Happy Birth to your new blog! It's sounds exactly what you need to do. I've revamped mine a few times- I think we explore until we know what's right. Wonderful sketch and wonderful photos. I look forward to my future visits.
ReplyDeleteYour inner critic has been talking to my inner critic! Blogs are terrific places for venting and rambling. I look forward to seeing more!
ReplyDeleteLooking good. Like some of those photos, especially the boat scene.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your drawings and photos--welcome to blogville!
ReplyDeleteGreat first post. I enjoy your drawings here and on Flickr. I found your post helpful. My inner critic has practically wrestled me to the ground the past two months. Hmmm, what if I just let go, stop wrestling and tell it to back off? I'll try it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for blogging!
Thank you for sharing your work and your photographs, I'm looking forward to seeing more as your blog develops. Good to meet you!! :o)
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you started blogging! I love that collage and all of your photos!
As for the inner critic...maybe you should criticize her back :)
I wish all the inner critics would take a nice long vacation together .... I hear the moon is great in the summer! Your blog looks great - love the drawings and the photos (especially the cats), and your words resonate with many of us,I'm sure. nancy
ReplyDelete