A whole lot of something from nothing

Its been a while, at least a few months - I wont start rambling on about why I haven't blogged for such a while but I think sometimes we need a few gaps in regards to things like this without having to look into it so deeply. Sometimes you just need the break.

I sat in bed earlier and knew that it was time but I thought "God, what have I done in the last few months!?" I felt like I had done nothing. Nothing creative anyway. I decided to have a look through my sketch books. I HAD done things and I was being far too harsh on myself. I'd done little doodles, sketches (however not all I feel like putting on here today) and I had gone very snap happy for flowers on my phone. I now have a new iphone which is fantastic to take shots in the day when you are on the move. The following images are a few I have found which I've sneakily done in my previously thought "non creative" month or two.

The following few sketches were done using the fantastic gesture tools website:

http://www.pixelovely.com/gesture/index.php

I prefer the two messier ones to the straight one myself. I love the website, its a great practice tool and the time limit is good (as you can see on one of them I didnt manage to finish the face but I still quite like that!)




A sepia line pen drawing of some lovely flowers I received in May:



This was done in the park one afternoon, he kept moving around....A LOT.



Here a few pictures I've taken on my phone recently:

Some beautiful Poppies in the park

The rose garden at Regents park, I took loads of pictures here but I think this one is my favourite, it was so hot, the sky was blue and there were thousands of brightly coloured roses in every direction.
A little pot plant I bought for my mother yesterday. The leaves are fantastic! I can't remember what its called though unfortunately.


Until next time. Hopefully it wont be so long until that next time. X

Berlin, Trees, Doodles, Sunsets.

Last week I went to Berlin and its bustling and heaving with creativity, sprayed and drawn over walls and floors.

The next two from Berlin I couldnt leave out either:




This week, I bought some fantastic Faber-Castel 4 PITT artist pens in black. I've been doodling with them since they arrived yesterday and its my first dabble with watercolour pens. I have that shiny new feeling, a new toy feeling. You cant beat it. Its also got me back into pen work which is a nice change, using the pen straight onto the paper without pencil first.

I took my pens down to the park today and once again found a fantastic tree. It was a magical type tree with shoots of ivy all around the bottom and lovely textures. I think I am a little obsessed with trees at the moment to be honest:




Detoured to my mums garden and saw this lovely little pot with matching blue flowers:



Finished off with a doodle of the tree at the park with the new pens:



Next SEPIA pens *excitement*.

Last but not least whilst writing this blog we had a very crisp sunset out of the window. I havent seen it so clear for a while and seemed to place itself directly in the middle of a block of flats.....






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Operation block

A little quiet lately, but that's ok. Drawing has been slow but that's ok. I'm going back to sketching for a little while due to a slight block over the last month or so. I've sat down to draw but everything I drew felt slightly forced, so I'm leaving the Asia pastel pieces for a little while and going back to trying to draw free and loose without thinking. I think this will be good for me.

Blocks are funny little things and for me its brought on by too much brain activity in other areas of my life. This week whilst sitting at my desk at work, I suddenly felt an urge, grabbed some paper and did two quick sketches out of the window:

This felt FANTASTIC. Magical. Awesome. They are a bit wobbly.

I've also been becoming fascinated by trees:

The last one is my favourite.

Also have become fascinated with the colours in Lush bath bombs (a nice curveball there for you)



until next time x

Surrounded by colour

So for the first time since moving and receiving the fantastic new table for Christmas I finally used it and did a bit of art work. I sat down and continued the market scene and as I worked (it only took until about ten minutes in) I felt this intense joy. Its the only way I can describe it. When I start to feel like that, I don't really judge what Im doing and I start working from this place where I dont think and my hands just do what they need to do. I can tell you Ive never really had that feeling before, not from what I can remember or maybe I havent been aware of it like I am now. Probably best not to analyse it. I stopped and realised that I had put my new drawings under my bed when I moved in and stuck them up on the side so I could see them as I worked.

It made so much difference to see the drawings and be surrounded by the colour.

I had a few hours which I could work on it so I got stuck in with the bottom section. I realised that the baskets detail would be better by scratching away the oil pastel, so I worked into the thick layers I created.

Today I plan to spend quite a bit of time getting back into it, I've been a bit blocked since I moved in and dealing with a lot of new things. When I'm blocked and stressed, its really hard for me to be creative. Good news is the stress has passed (or at least its now managed and put into perspective) and life feels rather new and exciting.

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Normal service will return soon...

Merry Christmas!

I have been off the radar for over a month and I can feel it and I don't like it. I miss writing online as weird as it is. I do enjoy it. Must be the 14 year old nerd in me who liked writing in her diary.

On the 27th November, I moved and I've been adjusting to that change over the last few weeks. I havent felt like writing (or drawing) because the change has catapulted me into the unknown and at times back to parts of me I thought were long gone. The stressy parts and the panic parts, the worrying about things part. All totally normal of course in this situation, but I'm far too hard on myself which resulted in being upset about being upset (ridiculous). I think I've experienced incredible clarity over this last year and I've never felt more at peace than these last few months. This change took me out of that bubble and it sucked. The good thing though is Im much more aware of myself, I can see myself over reacting and I just ride it out. Its taken a month and now things are calming down and I'm returning to my normal self. Normal service will return soon. Phew! I think the brain is a funny thing - I think its an art form to be able to deal with many different things at once and not over react. Not only that, but its amazing how much GUILT I can generate over things. Totally self imposed guilt. I remember when I was studying and the best teacher I've ever had and now good friend took me to Park Hill Park (the park in the last blog) and we walked and walked. I'd had a bad day and it was her way of putting my mind back into perspective and getting some air. We sat down on a bench and she said "Natasha, you are holding a big stick and you are whipping yourself with it. Stop it." So spot on, No one has ever punished me as much as I punish myself. I have a lot of guilt about leaving my mum, too much. So much so I think it held me back a bit. The guilt is getting smashed though and now is a new chapter.

Anyway here are a few things over the last month:

I have a new art table (helpfully set up by friends boyfriend Ciaran - thank you!) which I've set at the side of my new room by the window. It fits perfectly and adjusts up and down. I'm looking forward to using it and it has draws. Draws!

I'm amazingly 30 next month, I'm planning a gathering at the new flat in January and a big big party to celebrate my mothers 70th and my sisters 40th and my birthday. Like a massive CELEBRATION OF OUR LIVES. Oh dear no pressure then. I plan for it to be in May and I've already had a little bit of a clash situation stress with dates, but don't worry I slapped myself round the face about it and now its fine, its all fine. Can everyone please calm down! Also, Im not sad or upset about being 30. I am actually ready for it and looking forward to it. Probably an unusual response? I don't know.

I have been flu like ill for a week and still going to work, but I didnt want to miss the parties. I did think it was stress induced because I swear I was ill not too long ago, but I think commuting and working with sick people is probably the problem there. Only problem was I couldnt taste the work Christmas dinner which is a travesty.

We dressed our department up as The Land of Oz for the work Christmas comp and we won. People even dressed up as the characters.

Toto

Flying Monkeys

I CAN ICE SKATE! Like a total twit, but I can do it, just about. I went to Somerset House and managed to not fall over and I was so layered up even if I had, I probably would of bounced OUT of Somerset House.

I saw Interpol and they were amazing. I had not listened to them for a long time properly, but seeing them live just bought back a zillion memories.

I can no longer watch the news for its fear mongery type nonsense. Once you notice it, thats it. This is due to its Snow coverage or should I say "SNOW CHAOS". Honestly.

I currently have no internet at the flat for the last week due to Sky issues and I havent killed anyone. Its a Christmas miracle *throws fairy dust*. I'm still managing to log on but don't ask me any questions.

Dave if you are reading this - MERRY CHRISTMAS on your travels. I hope you are ok over there and had a nice day yesterday, perhaps sat on a mountain top.

I haven't been drawing, but I knew I wouldnt for a bit. I plan too in the new year, its brewing...

Nat x

The River and a thank you

I feel the urge to blog right now this second whilst in the middle of starting a new piece. I sat back and realised exactly 10 mins ago how much my work is now free flowing from my fingers. I thought about my time a few months ago when I couldnt hold a pen without a lot of fear and pent up energy. What a difference a few months has made.

I can honestly say that the EDM group has really helped and I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to everyone for all the lovely comments and support since I started my journey back to the land of the creative living.

I wanted to put a few shots up of 'The River':

Its quite big - about 54cm x 33.5cm and its been lovely to do. Its been a slight challenge due to the card being quite waxy, therefore repelling the wax pastels and allowing me to work with it differently.



You can see here that there is alot of layering and I have also scratched into the pastel to create different lines and textures





Working on The River was really about me loosening up and letting go a little.

I've just started another piece today - a market shot I took with vibrant fruits and lots going on. Heres the start of it:



Drawing these pictures is quite cathartic for me and I'm feeling quite precious about them. When I travelled to Asia last year I was in a very bad place emotionally. I was surrounded by all the beauty and the culture but I was removed from it. I don't regret it for one moment however, I needed to be there and I needed to go through the motions of change to lead me to this point now. Drawing these is like a little nod to that. I feel like I'm now appreciating it in the way I should have been whilst there.

On a final note, I have been pretty ill the last few days so I havent really been out of the house. Last weekend however I took a trip to the park. Autumn is by far my FAVOURITE time of year and I took my new camera and went for a walk to capture the colours:

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